“Life’s unfair. And I’ve learned to be grateful.” – Brian McAlister

By Brian McAlister

I have been a drunken, drug addicted, angry biker from a working-class city in North Jersey. I have also been a corporate success story and entrepreneur with a nice house, a beautiful, loving wife and a talented, hard-working son.

Both my successes and my failures come from the same place – the same drive, the same stubbornness, the same need for “more” out of life; the same defiance most substance misusers come by naturally. That’s a superpower I didn’t realize I had until I got sober.

I like to share my story because I know it can help others, it has helped others. I like to share my story because I am not any more special than you are. I’m a regular guy who hit rock bottom and managed, six years later, to get sober. But once I got sober, I asked myself the same question everyone asks when they get sober. Now what? I managed to stay sober not simply because I managed to stay away from the lifestyle of my past, but because I learned to work toward a new life. I managed to stay sober because I discovered that I already had the tools and the drive – as do you – to live not just a healthy, drug-free life but an abundant life.

I also discovered, on the path to abundance, that sometimes you just need to get through the next two minutes. Sometimes two minutes can save your life. It is often as easy as just doing the next right thing and staying in the moment.

The sad truth today is that addiction has become a national crisis. In my home state of New Jersey, more than 128,000 people are addicted to heroin. If you put them all in the same location, it would be the state’s fourth largest city. In Philadelphia, drug dealers sell heroin in an open-air narcotics market that attracts drug tourists from across the nation; people are calling it the Walmart of Heroin.

How did we get here? Most of today’s heroin addicts started their path to addiction with a prescribed painkiller. Yet our minds do not discriminate between legal and illegal drugs. We could talk forever about the causes of alcohol and drug addiction, but it’s more important to talk about solutions.

I have seen the pain of addiction from both sides. My sister died of an opioid overdose. I promised myself when she died that I would use my hard-earned, hard-knocks education to help others – to help as many addicts as I can. I know from experience that being in long-term recovery from addiction is possible. You just need to stay with it long enough to see the miracle happen.

‘I could really use a hand right now’

I started drinking at a young age. The men in my town worked hard and drank hard, it was as simple as that. It was what I knew. I came by it honestly. By the time I was in my 20s, I was drunk round-the-clock.

I fell in love with a hometown girl, we got married and had a son. Yet my goals in life remained the same. They were, I thought, simple goals, a man’s goals. I wanted the best Harley money could buy. I wanted an unending supply of booze, pot and cocaine. I worked hard. Hadn’t I earned it? I actually parked my Harley each night in the living room of our home, to keep it safe. When my wife complained, I told her the Harley belonged in the living room, where no one could steal it. After all, it was our most valuable possession.

As my wife saw it, drinking and drugging had become the most important thing in my life, followed close behind by the Harley. As I saw it, my wife had become a nag.

I told her, “You knew what I was like when you married me.” Of course, this was another of my delusions, because as you are probably aware, addiction is a progressive potentially terminal disease. It always gets worse over time.

I decided to leave her and my son out west and head east. But the day before I was set to leave, I wrecked my motorcycle in the middle of nowhere. I was unconscious in the desert 40 miles from civilization. I had to be transported to the hospital by helicopter.

My injuries were numerous. I broke my back. I had severe head trauma, and my leg was broken, with compound fractures. My leg, I was told, would have to be amputated.

In pain and despair, I had a moment of clarity. I had not been religious – there was no need, I was king of my own world. But for a brief moment in that hospital bed, I cried out to the universe, to God, to a higher power. “I could really use a hand right now.”

Following that moment of clarity, a series of events happened. At the time, I considered them “coincidences.” My leg was not amputated. A young doctor performed experimental surgery and implanted 19 screws to keep me together.

Today I’m grateful for that accident. At the time, I didn’t consider myself so lucky. I was laid up for months. I was told I would always have a limp. And I didn’t act on that moment of clarity. Like many addicts, I didn’t realize I needed any help. I never considered giving up drinking or drugging. I never connected the dots between my alcohol and drug abuse to the consequences I was experiencing and the low-rent lifestyle I was living.

When I was finally released from the hospital, I went straight to the bar. I built a cup holder for my crutches, so I could drink a beer on the mile walk home. Substance abusers are like that. We are defiant, creative and focused when we want what we want. At the time I never imagined that these character traits, which I had been misusing, were gifts. Gifts, that when properly focused, would enrich my life.

 An addict’s skills are also the skills needed to achieve success

Truth is, those moments of clarity are also gifts, and that moment in the hospital cracked open a door that I would finally walk through. Years later, after another moment of clarity, I landed in rehab. When I walked out, I was 28 days sober for the first time in 20 years. I also knew that if I couldn’t stay sober, I’d likely soon be dead.

But after those 28 days, I felt lost. I was sober, but I didn’t have a job. I was sober, but I didn’t have a college degree. What now? Many addicts face the same challenge. It’s so easy in life to destroy, to tear things down. It’s so much harder to build. And so much more rewarding.

The reality is that relapse after rehab is common. Yet people often forget that addiction is a chronic disease. Treatment must be ongoing. You don’t cure diabetes or a heart condition in 28 days; when you have a chronic disease, treatment is a lifetime commitment. Recovery is accomplished one minute, one day at a time by staying willing to do whatever is necessary to remain healthy.

This is my favorite part of the story. Because I learned that the very same skill set that made me an addict could also make me a success story. I simply had to set my sights in a different direction and use my powers for good. When I say simply, I don’t mean it was easy. It was not easy, and it required dedication and laser-sharp single-mindedness. But I was an addict, wasn’t I? I had proven to myself that I had those skills.

One of the most important things I learned was to write down my goals. The simple act of writing things down makes them more likely to happen. My first goal every day is to remain clean and sober. I also wrote, family, financial and other goals. I wrote down this career goal: Become store manager for the company that employed me. And this: Become a millionaire.

To an outsider, my goals probably seemed ridiculous. I was earning less than $10 an hour. My resume wasn’t the kind of resume that rises to the top of the pile, if you know what I mean.

Yet I zeroed in on my goals and worked toward them with the same zeal that I had once dedicated to drinking and drugging. Where before I was negative, I now was positive. Where before I was chasing my next high, now I was chasing my next promotion. I was all in.

And you know what? I became the store manager. And more. I “earned” a million dollars. And more.

I used to think that being sober meant missing out. I’ve learned the opposite is true. Today I am a happy man, with wonderful relationships, good health and good fortune. I have more than I could have ever dreamed. Looking back, I now realize, that every challenge was an opportunity. Ever character defect a potential asset.

I still demand more out of life

No one plans to be an addict, but you do have to plan your sobriety. Sometimes you need to get through the next two minutes. Other times you need help with long-term, big-picture goals. It takes work to redirect your energy, but the payoff is well worth it.

Brian McAlister is the President and CEO of Freedom 365 Virtual Recovery System™ and Full Recovery Wellness Center. He is Best-selling author of Full Recovery, The Recovering Person’s Guide to Unleashing Your Inner Power. Sober date: August 2, 1990.